A realization

So for the past 3 months I've been working 50-60 hours a week, 7 days a week because we're short handed, and can't seem to find anyone willing to work for as little we pay.  I've been working my regular day shift during the week, and second shift on the weekends.  While I am grateful that I at least get to sleep in a couple of days, the shitty parts are that on Sunday night I have an 8 hour turnaround, where I get off at midnight and have to be back in at 8 AM that morning, and that working second shift leaves me time to think about it during the day.

During the week I have a set routine I follow: Get up, pee, get dressed, wake the boys up, drink coffee, make sure the boys are up, go to the bathroom, pack my bag, and leave.  On the weekend I have no such routine, and I now realize it gives me time to dread.  I have time to think about how much I don't want to go to work today, how much it sucks working second shift again, and having that damned turnaround on Sunday/Monday when I won't get much sleep.  Having to make full rounds on the weekends kills my back with all the walking.  I'm no slacker, I'm doing what they pay me to do.  Having to do a fire extinguisher list, extra walking, extra hurt.  All these things I think about, and dread, for several hours before I go to work.  I think this is what poisons my mood on the weekend, the thinking.

Am I whining about it?  If I had only had to do it for a couple of weeks, or a month, maybe I would admit that, to be fair.  But counting just now, it's been 15 weeks.  In that time I have gotten a total of 1 day off, because we had a new guy, but he quit after a weekend. 

Anyway, my whole point is that I realized why it bothers me.  Too much time to think about it.