Well, today is/was my birthday. I'm writing this at 2am on Sat, so its technically NOT my b-day anymore, but i haven't gone to bed, so in my mind it still is. Turning 31 was no big deal. Just another number. The day itself was pretty good. I was sung the birthday song right after I woke up and walked into the kitchen, which was slightly annoying as my head was screwed up, but I know they meant well. After a bit of coffee, I got gifts. :) I recieved some underwear, some designer (colored) underwear (hey, I asked for underwear, and I got it, lol) 2 Prince cds (Grafitti Bridge and 1999), Batman on dvd, and Linkin Park's Meteora cd. Very good haul. :) Afterwords, Monica left for work and I had to go see Dr. Milligan about my healing hernia. Short version, it looks good, lose some weight, come back and see him if it starts to bother me again. After that, I went to Anne's house to pick up Thomas and got some gifts there too. :) She gave me a pair of rather large and baggy shorts (why I don't know as I am not a shorts person), a microcasette recorder (which is the one thing I really wanted), and the new Metallica cd St. Anger. Still haven't gotten to listen to it yet, gotta wait till the kids aren't around. Which leads to my next train of thought...
Music. I love music. When I was growing up, I wanted to be a musician. First was drums, then piano lessons, later bass guitar. Piano stuck with me, but I really wish I'd taken the drum pad seriously when I first got it. But I digress. The problem is, I can't listen to what I like anymore. I mean, there is some I can play around the kids, but unless I lock myself away in my bedroom, I can't just jam out anymore. It really bites that they won't let us have radios at work anymore. I swear, music used to be almost my lifes blood. I have all kinds of music, just about anything to match my mood. My tastes run to extremes: Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Prince, Linkin Park, Hall and Oates, Enya, Beastie Boys, Jimi Hendrix, George Michael, Limp Bizkit, Aerosmith, Eminem, Korn, Kid Rock, Cake, Nirvana, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Queen, Lenny Kravitz, Weird Al, almost anything from the 80's... these all live in harmony on my cd shelf. Yet I can't take out and listen to more than half of them, because its just not appropriate for my kids to hear. Music for me is an outlet, a pathway to my emotions and deep feelings. The things I have bottled up can get release from the strong emotion that comes with certain types of music. Thats one of the reasons I hate being disturbed when I'm playing the piano; to respond, I have to stop what I am doing, halt the flow of the music and the harmony I have created within me. It irks me. Heh, I get the same feeling when listen to cds on the stereo in the living room. The stupid thing will skip out of the blue, for nothing. And that really pisses me off, when you're there listening, singing, absobing the music, just letting it go through you, and suddenly you're in a different part of the song, or a different track altogether. I'm going to break it one day. I guess what I'm thinking is that maybe I shouldn't ask for anymore music, because I just can't listen to it anymore. The weekends are about the only time I might have a chance to listen to something, seriously. Here's my day: Wake up, the kids are around, watching TV, or playing outside. Even if they are all outside I still can't really listen to anything because... I just woke up. I start slow, lol. Around noon, James gets his nap, so loud noise is a no-no until he gets up, anywhere from 3-5. At 3 I go to work, no radios allowed. Bastards. Come home close to midnight, and of course, no music. Kids are in bed, Monica is not going to want to listen to the stuff I'd want to play to help me deal with the crap that happened at work. So then there's the weekends, which is kinda potluck. IF the kids aren't around, and IF Monica can deal with it, I might be able to put something on. OR, if I can manage to sneak away when nothing is in strong need of getting done, I can go downstairs to the bedroom to sit and vibe for a few minutes. Sometimes Monica will join me, but then I get all self conscious and I can't get the release I need.
Wow, I went from happy birthday to music rant. How the hell did I manage that???
Oh well. I have another week off work for recovery, so I will try to make the best of it. I really need to keep up with the nasal spray crap I'm using... supposed to give each nostril 3 squirts and then gently blow my nose, once an hour. I mean, it works and all, but its a pain in the ass to keep track of, and saline solution tastes really nasty, dripping down the back of my sinuses into my throat... I wonder if that affects my sodium intake for the day... hmmm... Oh, yeah, forgot to mention that I got a book from Monica today too, with the stipulation that she gets to read it to me. I've been reading to her, off and on, and she is eager to return the favor, I guess. Hey, whatever works.
Ok, I go now.
Music. I love music. When I was growing up, I wanted to be a musician. First was drums, then piano lessons, later bass guitar. Piano stuck with me, but I really wish I'd taken the drum pad seriously when I first got it. But I digress. The problem is, I can't listen to what I like anymore. I mean, there is some I can play around the kids, but unless I lock myself away in my bedroom, I can't just jam out anymore. It really bites that they won't let us have radios at work anymore. I swear, music used to be almost my lifes blood. I have all kinds of music, just about anything to match my mood. My tastes run to extremes: Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Prince, Linkin Park, Hall and Oates, Enya, Beastie Boys, Jimi Hendrix, George Michael, Limp Bizkit, Aerosmith, Eminem, Korn, Kid Rock, Cake, Nirvana, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Queen, Lenny Kravitz, Weird Al, almost anything from the 80's... these all live in harmony on my cd shelf. Yet I can't take out and listen to more than half of them, because its just not appropriate for my kids to hear. Music for me is an outlet, a pathway to my emotions and deep feelings. The things I have bottled up can get release from the strong emotion that comes with certain types of music. Thats one of the reasons I hate being disturbed when I'm playing the piano; to respond, I have to stop what I am doing, halt the flow of the music and the harmony I have created within me. It irks me. Heh, I get the same feeling when listen to cds on the stereo in the living room. The stupid thing will skip out of the blue, for nothing. And that really pisses me off, when you're there listening, singing, absobing the music, just letting it go through you, and suddenly you're in a different part of the song, or a different track altogether. I'm going to break it one day. I guess what I'm thinking is that maybe I shouldn't ask for anymore music, because I just can't listen to it anymore. The weekends are about the only time I might have a chance to listen to something, seriously. Here's my day: Wake up, the kids are around, watching TV, or playing outside. Even if they are all outside I still can't really listen to anything because... I just woke up. I start slow, lol. Around noon, James gets his nap, so loud noise is a no-no until he gets up, anywhere from 3-5. At 3 I go to work, no radios allowed. Bastards. Come home close to midnight, and of course, no music. Kids are in bed, Monica is not going to want to listen to the stuff I'd want to play to help me deal with the crap that happened at work. So then there's the weekends, which is kinda potluck. IF the kids aren't around, and IF Monica can deal with it, I might be able to put something on. OR, if I can manage to sneak away when nothing is in strong need of getting done, I can go downstairs to the bedroom to sit and vibe for a few minutes. Sometimes Monica will join me, but then I get all self conscious and I can't get the release I need.
Wow, I went from happy birthday to music rant. How the hell did I manage that???
Oh well. I have another week off work for recovery, so I will try to make the best of it. I really need to keep up with the nasal spray crap I'm using... supposed to give each nostril 3 squirts and then gently blow my nose, once an hour. I mean, it works and all, but its a pain in the ass to keep track of, and saline solution tastes really nasty, dripping down the back of my sinuses into my throat... I wonder if that affects my sodium intake for the day... hmmm... Oh, yeah, forgot to mention that I got a book from Monica today too, with the stipulation that she gets to read it to me. I've been reading to her, off and on, and she is eager to return the favor, I guess. Hey, whatever works.
Ok, I go now.
posted by Tom at 2:47 AM
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