It's done.
I want to thank you all for your comments and support. And its always refreshing to know that someone outside my family read my blog. Comments are always welcome and appreciated. :)
So Monica and I waited up for Tony to come home last night. Well, sorta. I waited up for Tony; Monica snoozed on the couch and I woke her up around 2:30 am when he got home.
Its a funny thing, how life works. According to him, he was all set to quit drinking and go back to valium and tea when he saw Monica's written livejournal post in her notebook. According to Elizabeth, when they talked in the car yesterday, he just had one bad day. Therein lies the problem. I KNOW it wasn't just one day. I've seen the proof. And he's told us before that he's going to change. The only thing that makes this time different is that he sort of has a girlfriend.
He met this woman... well, I don't remember where. Either at a convenience store or a bar. Doesn't really matter. She's been coming to see him at work, he's been seeing her after work. He asked her out. And of course us kickng him, errr... asking him to leave, comes at a time where he's started caring about something, finally.
I told him last night, what really hurts, is that he's willing to change his habits for this woman he just met last week, but not for the family he's been living with for the past 6 months. He's been my best friend for nigh 20 years. My son's middle name is named for him. Hell, Tony is his godfather.
Anyways, he asked us for the chance to regain our trust. He said he's really going to change this time. And you know, I mostly believe him. But I have this cynical part of me that wonders how long it will last. What happens if things don't work out and they break up? Back to the bottle? From what he told us last night, he came really close to self-destruction this week. We already helped him out of that pit once. And Monica said it best: We can't be his rehab all the time.
So I told him, you want to change, do what you have to do. I'm not making any promises. It's not just up to me. He may mean well now, but that doesn't change the past. Hopefully he gets his act together and scrapes up enough money for his own place. I don't really see a future for him in our house anymore.
I'm not taking the blame for this. Yet, deep down inside, I feel guilty about it. Telling my best friend to get out of my hosue is not something I've ever done. I know if he ends up moving back up north with his parents, he'll be miserable. Detatching, I realize that hes' the one that put himself in this position. His actions. His lies, his broken promises. But that doesn't make it easier.
So Monica and I waited up for Tony to come home last night. Well, sorta. I waited up for Tony; Monica snoozed on the couch and I woke her up around 2:30 am when he got home.
Its a funny thing, how life works. According to him, he was all set to quit drinking and go back to valium and tea when he saw Monica's written livejournal post in her notebook. According to Elizabeth, when they talked in the car yesterday, he just had one bad day. Therein lies the problem. I KNOW it wasn't just one day. I've seen the proof. And he's told us before that he's going to change. The only thing that makes this time different is that he sort of has a girlfriend.
He met this woman... well, I don't remember where. Either at a convenience store or a bar. Doesn't really matter. She's been coming to see him at work, he's been seeing her after work. He asked her out. And of course us kickng him, errr... asking him to leave, comes at a time where he's started caring about something, finally.
I told him last night, what really hurts, is that he's willing to change his habits for this woman he just met last week, but not for the family he's been living with for the past 6 months. He's been my best friend for nigh 20 years. My son's middle name is named for him. Hell, Tony is his godfather.
Anyways, he asked us for the chance to regain our trust. He said he's really going to change this time. And you know, I mostly believe him. But I have this cynical part of me that wonders how long it will last. What happens if things don't work out and they break up? Back to the bottle? From what he told us last night, he came really close to self-destruction this week. We already helped him out of that pit once. And Monica said it best: We can't be his rehab all the time.
So I told him, you want to change, do what you have to do. I'm not making any promises. It's not just up to me. He may mean well now, but that doesn't change the past. Hopefully he gets his act together and scrapes up enough money for his own place. I don't really see a future for him in our house anymore.
I'm not taking the blame for this. Yet, deep down inside, I feel guilty about it. Telling my best friend to get out of my hosue is not something I've ever done. I know if he ends up moving back up north with his parents, he'll be miserable. Detatching, I realize that hes' the one that put himself in this position. His actions. His lies, his broken promises. But that doesn't make it easier.
posted by Tom at 11:43 AM
3 Comments:
That's one of the crazy things I always see in life. I always wonder if things would have been better if I gave it just a little longer. But I try not to focus on it. I'd just drive myself crazy.
I know it was hard. but hopefully everything will work out for the better.
I don't mean to be crude or anything, but did you set a time for him to move out or are things still in limbo? From your post I'm not sure which.
Not following through teaches him that the next time you're about to kick him out all he has to do is find a new something to change for and promise to do better. This is not the right lesson to teach him, this is not the way you deserve to be treated. Like you yourself said, he's willing to change for someone he's known for a very short time but not for his best friend and the family that has housed him and loved him and stood up for him in his time of need - there's something wrong with this picture.
He asked for a month... Monica wants to give him 2 weeks, but I don't think he'll have enough money in that short of time. Regardless of which, he'll be able to move back to PA. with his mom if he wants to... she's wanted him to come back for quite some time.
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