All over the place

I can't seem to keep my moods under control lately.  I get really depressed out of nowhere, or over something stupid, especially when I'm alone.  I'm not blogging as much as I was, which you can see if you've been following along, which evidently NO one is.  I feel like I have no control over anything in my life.  My youngest daughter brought home a puppy the other day and asked me if she could keep it for a few days.  Bear in mind that we already have 5 cats and a dog already in the house with 8 people living there, albeit 3 people only temporarily.  My wife left the decision up to me.  Of course I didn't want to have another animal in the house, but how can I say no in that situation?  She's already got the dog in the house, she's sucking up hard, my wife is non-committal, and there are other people around, so how can I say no without looking like a big asshole?

OK, so I just sat and stared off into the distance for the past 5 or 6 minutes.  I feel really stressed.  The only time I don't anymore is when I'm playing Fallout 4 or Torchlight, because I focus on the games and nothing else.  But either I don't get as much time as I'd like, or I feel guilty about it later for not doing something more constructive, or everyone else wants to watch TV.  Hell at this point, all I would do is just sit and play games and not think about anything else.  In the games I have control.  I know what I'm doing, I know where to go (usually), and I can do what I want.  In reality I have none of that.

Yesterday I was feeling shitty, emotionally, so I decided to shave my head and shower when I got home from work in an effort to try and feel better.  It didn't work, though it made my wife happy.  She likes me bald.  And I hadn't showered in like, 2 months.  Yeah.  I get gross when I'm depressed.  Which is to say, I'm gross.  My pillow cases are darkened from where my filthy head lays on them and from where I drool in my sleep.