*SIGH*
It figures. I have a responsibility today, and I'm not sure I can fulfill it. Why, you ask? Well, it feels like my brain is conspiring against me, honestly. After helping my parents clean up the flood in their basement caused by their washing machine yesterday, I promised I would go over there today and help sort and take out some of the trash. Tony was with me, and I mentioned to him on the way home that I hoped my brain wouldn't give me problems today. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned it, because I seem to have jinxed myself. I struggled for 45 minutes to get out of bed. Came upstairs, took my meds, drank my coffee, and waited for the dizziness to pass, as it sometimes does. It hasn't yet.

I need to shake this. How can I be a responsible person, raising 4 children and helping out my 2 best friends, if I can't help being dizzy??? I never know when its going to happen, or how bad it will be when it does. My mom really needs my help today, and I promised it to her, but I can't be there for her right now. And on a greater scale, the same thing for my family. I am the only one with a job in this house, and I can't work. Money has suddenly become tight again, and there's no real quick way to get more. I'm finding it hard to get past the "if only's" to try and figure out a solution. And worrying more now has made me more dizzy.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.