Blog resurrection

And Tom said: Let there be Blog! And there was, and it was good.

I have a plan. I emailed it to myself from work. Here it is, copied and pasted for your viewing pleasure.

1) Quit smoking

2) Exercise - join a gym or get exercise equipment to feel better about yourself. Feeling better about yourself will keep you motivated.

3) Clean - A clean house will reduce stress and keep yourself focused

4) Decide what you want to do and commit to it - no excuses, no quitting, no matter how hard it seems

5) Learn all you can about what you are going to do - if its building computers, then DO it. Don't fear the unknown. Don't waffle! Don't waver. Indecision leads to inability to DO.

6) Do it NOW. If you wait, you will second guess yourself, and you will wonder if you are making the right decision. See #5.

7) Journal, Blog, whatever. Keep track of your thoughts. Get them out. Get those thoughts out of your head where you can examine them and determine their validity.

Explanation of the plan:
1) Quitting smoking is right for my health. When I go to bed today, I will have smoked my last. Already I am questioning this, but I must remain firm, or I will never quit. An article I read said that quitting smoking on a whim is more effective than planning it out. I must discipline myself; I have too long been without. And this is the first step on my road to self-discipline.

2) I need a better self-image. When I stop worrying about what I look like, about how fat I feel, then I will be able to focus better on my goals. Whether I join a gym, or buy some exercise equipment for home, I need to. Eventually I will work out a diet plan also.

3) The state of my house is depressing. It will take some effort from everyone involved, but this must also be done. This links in with self-image. If my environment upsets me, I will not be able to focus well.

4) Indecision has killed me in the past. All my life, really. I need a career. I do not want to be a security guard for the rest of my life, no matter how easy it may be. It does not challenge me, it does not motivate me; in fact, it makes me more lax, unless we're busy.

5) This means I'll probably end up going to school, whether its real college or technical school. That's really the only way to go. I want to build and design computers for people.

6) If I wait to do this, I am not acting. If I sit and plan this all out before starting, I'll flounder in indecision.

7) That indecision is going to be posted here. I must get it out of my head. I can examine it here, as well as anyone else reading. Comments will be most appreciated, whether positive or negative.

The reason behind all this.
I watched The Bourne Identity this morning at work. For those of you who do not know, I am an overnight security guard at a distribution center. I get paid $8.50 and hour, 40 hours a week, plus any incidental overtime. Weekends are usually the slowest part of the week, so before you get any ideas about us (there are 3 of us on duty at all times) being lazy, let me assure you that there isn't much to do on the weekends.

Anyways, I watched this movie. The plot basically goes that this guy is found floating in the Mediterranean, almost dead. When he wakes up he has no memory of who he is or what he has done. So he goes to find out anything he can about himself, following the scant leads he has. When he discovers his past, he finds he doesn't like it, wants to keep it in the past, and start fresh.

I identified very much with him. I want to change myself, change the road I'm on. While I don't want to separate myself from everything I have now, I must change some of it to help change myself. And I cannot second-guess myself. No looking back, unless its to change something that isn't or hasn't worked.

So there it is. I am going to do this. I will succeed. I will be strong. I will be better. I will be motivated.