Fucking Useless

I am fucking useless.  I am off today, very unusual for a Monday.  I decided I would actually try to be useful today and do some yard work instead of sitting around the house all day.  5 minutes into being outside and my back was already telling me to sit down, but I tried to persevere.  I gathered the tools I needed and proceeded to weed-eat, rake and dig, pull roots, that kind of thing.  Sound like a lot?  It wasn't.  That lasted for about 5 minutes too.  I was out of breath, sweat pouring down my face, my back threatening to leave me and take the children with it.  I just wanted to accomplish something I wouldn't normally do.  And I got nothing done.  I just hurt too bad.  Fucking useless.  Story of my life.  Try and fail, try and fail.  I didn't expect it would be easy.  I knew I would hurt, I knew I would get out of breath and dirty and sweaty.  But I didn't expect it to happen so quickly.  Hell, my back was aching just from getting dressed and putting my shoes on.  I'd already taken Aleve and Advil.  And now I'm going to sit and wallow in this failure all day if I know me.  And I think I do, I've known me a long time.