Friday, April 22, 2005

Asshole?

Alrighty. I did my 3 weeks of training at the corrections acadamy. But what they teach you there doesn't compare to the real-life experience of being in a facility. Some of the kids there are not quite openly hostile, but are definetely verbally abusive. Part of my trouble dealing with them is that I am just not that quick with the comebacks, or I'm unsure of how to respond without digging myself into a hole. Its hard for me to feel like I'm in control when 4 of them are asking me stuff from 4 different directions at the same time.

My only recourse seems that I have to turn into an asshole. I don't really want to resort to that, but it looks like the only way I'm going to be able to stay in control. I'm going to have to enforce the rules with no leniency, give them write-ups for every violation, no matter how small. I'm just afraid that doing this will lead to more resentment and disobedience. I guess I'll just have to be even more of an asshole then.

I just don't want to bring the asshole home with me. I'm going to be with those kids 5 days a week, and I'll be seeing them more often than I'll be seeing my own kids. I don;t want to be the asshole to my own kids, my own family. My kids may need it sometimes, but I can't be that way the whole time I'm with them. I'm going to have to figure out some kind of switch, so I can turn it on and off.

I guess I'll have to figure that out later. Right now, I have to get into uniform and get into the asshole mindset.

Wish me luck.