Dreams

Had a really weird dream this morning. Actually, I usually have weird dreams. In my dream, I was still working at Nashua. For those of you who are just joining us, I haven't worked at Nashua for 2 years now. The significance is that it was the highest paying job I've ever had, as well as the job I held the longest, over 9 years. Anyways my job was at Nashua, but I was somehow taking college classes at a school in California, only I didn't have to attend that school, I think it was like a correspondence course. The details are getting fuzzy, but I remember that there was something going on at the school, a class or something, that I had wanted to go to, but would end up having to miss a few days of work for. My parents were all for it; in my dream I was living at home with them. The school was conveniently located near where my brother lives out there, and I made arrangements with him to stay at his place for a couple days for it. After a big debate with my parents, we decided I should drive out there to save money, even though it meant that I would miss more work.

So I drove out there, and I recall it taking about 24 hours, driving time, about 2 days. It was strange, I didn't actually drive the trip in my dream, it was like a movie where you follow the person's progress on a map. So I got there and was in this class, I don't even know what it was, but it was so... Well weird, for lack of a better word, because the class was made of people I know, either from back in high school or just people I used to work with. It didn't seem out of place at the time though. I think we did some kind of assignment, then the next thing I remember is that I had to leave. I remember going to the airport to check prices on flights, because I couldn't afford to miss much more work. Somehow, my mother showed up to debate it with me. In the end, I convinced her I should fly back home, because it was faster and cheaper and I wouldn't miss as much work; the car I was using turned out to be a rental. So she agreed and came with, I guess... I don't remember anything after that.

I am bothered by the fact that most of the time when I dream, I am still working at Nashua. That was a real low in my life, even though it was the best paying job I ever had. It was during that time that I was diagnosed with Meniere's disease, and eventually lost my job because of it. It was an unhappy place to work, just had this negative vibe to it that permeated the whole place.

Whenever I dream about working there, I feel so drained and depressed when I wake up, like I didn't sleep much at all. I get into a funk that I can't shake easily, that follows me around all day, even if I'm not thinking about the dream. I feel like I've lost control, and that makes me feel even worse. I have no idea what to do about this. It completely ruins my day, makes me ruin my wife's day because she's concerned for me and I can't explain what's wrong.