Familial disturbances

I don't know what to do.  I'm having a really hard time coping with my life right now.  Between the constant pain in my back and legs, and the... familial disturbances, we'll call them, I'm about to lose my goddamned mind. 

I don't want to go over the details again, so if you aren't playing along at home, too bad.  Suffice to say that my daughter DeAnne and son Thomas are personas non grata at my house.  Things blew up about a week ago and have been tense ever since.  De has sent apologies to me and Monica.  I have accepted, Monica has not.  She wants De to give back her house key and take her off the car insurance policy.  I don't care about the house key, but removing her from the car insurance policy  will likely cause her to have her car repo'd, since she has to carry full coverage as part of her purchase agreement.  I don't want to be part of that.  Plus I feel like a traitor whenever I talk to De since I know Monica is still mad at her.

Thomas has gone dark since he went to stay with DeAnne.  No communications have been returned.

My back has been hurting worse and worse, and I can't blame it all on stress.  Before the familial disturbance even happened, I ended up missing 3 days of work because of my back and leg pain. The leg pain is newer.  It feels like I get lightning shooting down my legs, especially on my right.  If I do anything strenuous, like walking or standing for an extended period of time, it can make me hurt for days. 

I want to leave.  I want to go to where there is no pain, no stress, no family issues.  I can't say I want to die, but I probably wouldn't complain either.  I want to just Be.  Or, not Be.  I want Robin Williams' drug, Fukitol.  Of course, he might not be the best example considering how he died.